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Well since the homosexual has asked
1. What time did you get up this morning? July 7th 1942
2. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls, they go with my
twinset so nicely
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
The Battleship Potemkin
4. What is your favorite TV show? The Perfect Penis
5. What did you have for breakfast? An
argument with Mr Haste
6. What is your middle name? Ethel
7. What is your favorite cuisine? I love my meat and two
veg
8. What foods do you dislike? Nouvelle
9. What is your favorite Potato chip? The one off the old
block
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Is that like a
gramophone?
11. What kind of car (truck) do you drive?
I cycle
12. What is your favorite sandwich? Yoghurt and pilchard
13. Favorite item of clothing? My corset
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on
vacation, where would you go? Anywhere where Mr Haste isn't
15. What color is your bathroom? Black
16. Favorite brand of clothing? Oxfam
17. Where would you want to retire to? I have retired to Little
Felching, my bed is made and I am lying in it
18. Favorite time of day? When I am not lying in
my bed
19.
Where were you born? Tokyo
20. Favorite sport to watch? Horse Racing
21. Who do you least expect to send this
back? Mr Haste
22. Person you expect to send this back
first? No one
23. What type of detergent do you use? Persil
24. Coke or Pepsi? Is that legal?
25. Are you a morning person or night owl? I am more of a mourning
owl
26. What size shoe do you wear? My left foot is an 8 my
right foot is purple
27. Do you have pets? I have Mr Haste – hes a
dumb animal
28. Any new and exciting news you'd like to
share with everyone? I am out of my coma
29. What did you want to be when you were
little? His Royal Highness The Prince Phillip
30. Favorite Candy Bar? None now it strains my
dentures
31. What are your best childhood memories? The discover of America
32.
Different jobs you have had in your life? Nude model, private secretary
to the Prime Minister, wartime operative, sherpa, electricity meter reader,
orphan
33. What color underwear are you wearing? Flesh
34. Nicknames: MH
35 Piercing? Mr Haste's heart if he comes
within striking distance this evening
36. Ever been to Africa? Yes although totally
by accident when I became hopelessly lost on my trip to Sainsburys to but tomatoes
37. Ever been toilet papered? We recycle
newspaper
38. Love someone so much it made you cry? My slug Eric
39. Been in a car accident? The only accident is my
marriage
40. Croutons or bacon bits? Crudites
41. Favorite day of the week? August
42. Favorite restaurant? The Copper Kettle
43. Favorite flower? Tulips
44. Favorite ice cream? Mr Whippy
45. Disney or Warner Brothers? I haven't spoken to the
Warner Brothers since that awful incident with the Herring and the Church
Warden so it will have to be Mr Disney although I do wish he would open the
newsagents a little earlier
46. Favorite fast food restaurant? When Mrs Trubshaw has
the wind behind her in the Copper Kettle she can knock out a pretty quick ham
and tomato sandwich
47. What color is your bedroom carpet? Beige with some rather
nasty stains
48. How many times did you fail your driver's
test? 274 so far
49. Before this one, from whom did you get your
last e-mail? I had an email from the American King
50. Which store would you choose to max out your
credit card? Mrs Kentish's stationary emporium
51. What do you do most often when you are
bored? Fall asl….
52. Who are you most curious about their
responses to this questionnaire. I don't think anyone
will answer this
53. Last person you went out to dinner with? King Hussein of Jordan
54. Ford or Chevy? I prefer Scholl
55. How many tattoos do you have? 17
56. Which came first, the chicken or the
egg? It was a simultaneous orgasm | 
